Burn
by Morpheus9
Summary: This is a songfic and one shot based on Burn by The Cure. WARNING: implied gayness between Harry and Draco. I might expand on this later... we'll have to see.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song "Burn" by the Cure which was on "The Crow" soundtrack, and you guessed it, I don't own that either.

WARNING: some implied gayness. mostly regret and a last chance to make everyting right

It's a songfic oneshot, and I know it's not the best. I just wanted to do something with Harry and Draco and this song because I love this song so very much.

* * *

Harry looked for a moment at the Daily Prophet lying on the table. It was Draco's car. The car was destroyed. The car his lover drove was destroyed.

_don't look, don't look  
the shadows breathe  
whispering me away from you  
don't wake at night to watch her sleep  
you know that you will always see  
this trembling, adored, tousled bird-mad girl  
_

The paper was two months old. It had been two months since Draco had disappeared. The car was destroyed and it was believed whoever was inside was dead. But after pulling all the parts of the car apart, they couldn't find even evidence that there had been a person in the car when it was wrecked. Witnesses swore up and down that there was a blond driving the car when it was hit by the semi. But the person everyone said was in the car was no where to be found.

_every night I burn  
every night I call your name  
every night I burn  
every night I fall again  
_

Harry drank from a bottle of fire whiskey. He didn't bother with glasses much anymore. There was no point in his mind of wasting the time of getting a glass and pouring the liquor into that glass. It was so much simpler, bottle to stomach in seconds flat. He was drinking for lost love tonight. The loss of Draco.

_don't talk of love the shadows purr  
murmuring me away from you  
don't talk of worlds that never were  
the end is always ever true  
there's nothing you can ever say  
nothing you can ever do _

The wreck was not long after one of their worst arguments. Harry supposed that it was an eventuality. Their relationship was so passionate and volatile to begin with that it demanded a spectacular ending.

"You're shutting everyone out Harry, you're shutting me out, and I just wish you could see that," Draco had said. He had said it calmly. It was just supposed to be the start of a conversation. But Harry was drunk.

"You're a jerk, that's what I see," replied Harry. "You aren't happy with fucking the Golden Child? You aren't happy with all the attention you get from me? Fine. Go find someone else."

"I'm not with you just because you are Harry Potter. I'm not with you for the attention. I'm with you because I love you."

"Bull shit. Everyone wants to be with me because of the fame and the attention and that includes you."

"LISTEN TO ME! Do you hear a word I am saying! I love you! You are the love of my life and you are saying that I'm just here for the attention I get from being your lover. I love you, Harry."

"Well, I don't love you." Draco's eyes filled with tears, but Harry didn't care. He was too drunk to care. He had shut his heart off so that he didn't care. He had lied. Draco was the love of his life, and he lied so that he could be completely shut off. He wanted to push out the last person who could get to him, and now he had. Draco turned around and walked out of the house without another word. About fifteen minutes later Harry heard the sickening crash outside the window. He turned his head and saw Draco's car in a smoldering heap and the driver of the semi jumping out of his truck and running to the car he had just hit to see if there was anything he could do.

"No…" Harry whispered. There was a sudden explosion that the driver of the semi just managed to get away from in time. "NO!" Harry screamed as the bottle in his hand shattered on the floor. His heart shattered at the same moment.

_still every night I burn  
every night I scream your name  
every night I burn  
every night the dream's the same  
every night I burn  
waiting for my only friend  
every night I burn  
waiting for the world to end _

Tonight Harry was drinking. He was nearing the end of the bottle and he knew that there wasn't enough whiskey in the world to numb him. The thought made him cry. He kept crying and he wondered why. He wasn't just crying for the whiskey; he was crying for loss. He wanted Draco back. Some part of him still believed that Draco saw the semi and just apparated away before it hit. But if that was true, why had no one seen him since? Wouldn't he have stayed with friends? Wouldn't he have made some kind of contact with someone in the magic world that could get word to Harry that he was alive?

_just paint your face and shadow smile  
slipping me away from you  
oh it doesn't matter how you hide  
find you if we're wanting to  
so slide back down and close your eyes  
sleep awhile - you must be tired  
_  
"Draco…" he whispered. "I miss you." He pulled on his black cloak and stared at the medicine bottle again. "I wish… I hope that you are alive. I shut you out and killed the love that we had. You have no idea how precious that love was to me. Even at my worst, it gave me comfort that you still loved me. But I wanted everyone out. I didn't want the attention anymore, for me or for you. So I killed our love in order to be alone. Well, I'm alone. I got my wish." Harry slowly opened the bottle and stared at the pills inside. "Gods Draco, I wish that I had you back. I wish that I wasn't alone. I just want you, I just need you."

_when every night I burn  
every night I call your name  
every night I burn  
every night I fall again  
_  
Harry put the cap back on the bottle and stared at the pills that were still inside it.

"You might be alive," he whispered. "There might be a chance to fix this. I don't want to give that up. It kills me to be without you. To search for you might be torture, but to find you alive would at least be a relief. Maybe, once I found you, I could fix this. Anything is better than the torture of not knowing."

_every night I burn  
scream the animal screams  
every night I burn  
dream the crow black dream_ Harry attached a note to Hedwig and sent it to Professor Snape. Snape was Draco's godfather after all, if anyone knew where Draco was, Professor Snape would know. He looked at the clock and saw that it was ten o'clock. Snape would probably be awake. He sat up in his chair by the fire and drank coffee trying to stay awake. He wanted to know if his lover was alive. Between two and three o'clock in the morning he fell asleep in his chair. His mug fell to the floor and spilled the last dribbles of coffee on the floor.

At three seventeen in the morning, Draco arrived at the house by way of the floo system. He saw the wasted and pale picture of Harry and nearly broke down. He quietly stepped out of the fire place and gently touched Harry's cheek. Harry flinched slightly but leaned his head towards the warm hand. Draco gently lifted him from the chair and laid him in the bed. Draco quickly toed off his shoes and got into bed next to Harry, holding him close. Harry snuggled into Draco's chest and breathed deeply. That was when Harry's eyes slowly opened and stared at the familiar chest before him.

"I'm praying this isn't a dream," said Harry softly.

"It isn't," Draco replied. Harry looked up into the grey eyes that he had missed so long and tears of relief and love suddenly clouded his vision. He quickly kissed Draco over and over.

"You're here," he whispered between kisses. "I was… I thought you had died, but they couldn't find your body and I was never certain."

"I just decided it was best to slip away for a while," said Draco calmly as Harry once again snuggled into his chest and he gently stroked the raven hair he had missed so much. "I wanted to send word to you, but I didn't think you wanted to hear from me, or know that I was alive. What you said to me… it hurt me so badly."

"I know," whispered Harry. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I love you so much. I just wanted everyone gone."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was alive. I guess we both have a lot of making up to do."

"Tomorrow," said Harry. "After that, we have all the time in the world."

_still every night I burn,_

_every night I scream your name.  
every night I burn,_

_every night the dream's the same.  
_

Harry woke up suddenly in his chair. It was a dream. Harry's eyes filled with tears as he stared into the fire. Then he heard an owl tapping on the window. It was Hedwig. He quickly let her in and got the message from her leg that Professor Snape had sent back.

"Harry, Draco is alive. He will come to you tomorrow."

Harry let out a sigh of relief as he collapsed to the floor.

"There's a chance…" he whispered to himself. "There's a chance… This is my last chance; I won't screw this one up."

_every night I burn,_

_screaming the animal scream  
every night I burn,_

_dreaming the crow-black dream.  
dreaming the crow-black dream..._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... or anything like that

All right, due to popular demand, I am continuing this story... also due to the fact that now I want to know what happens.

WARNING: Harry/Draco, gay relationship, don't like it don't read it. Right now just kissing and cuddling, no great sex now.

* * *

Harry had straightened up the house and was now cooking lunch. His eyes glanced at the clock briefly and saw that it was almost twelve in the afternoon. Draco had sent word that he would come by around lunch time. After Harry had heard that Draco was still alive, seeing Draco's own handwriting was all the confirmation he needed. He kept expecting to hear the crack of someone apparating or the floo. But a simple knock on the door was the last thing he had expected.

But that's what happened at exactly noon that day. Harry quickly walked to the door and opened it. Draco stood in the door way dressed in black pants, shirt, boots, and a black cloak draped around his shoulders and a hood over his head. He looked up at Harry when the door opened and Harry could see that Draco's hair had grown and was perfectly pulled back in a pony tail. With the sun and snow behind him there was a white glow around him that made him look like a dark angel come to earth. Both stared at each other, uncertain of what to do. Draco pushed back his hood and stepped towards Harry carefully. Harry didn't move. He wanted to grab Draco and kiss him then slap him and scream at him and then tell him he loved him and never wanted him to leave again. Problem was he wasn't sure which to do first.

"Hello Harry," Draco said calmly.

"Hello Draco," Harry replied. He calmly shut the door back. "Can I take your cloak?"

"Uh, sure." Draco undid the clasp on cloak and handed it to Harry. Harry took it from Draco and their fingers brushed for a moment. Draco's fingers were ice cold. Harry's were hot from cooking. Their eyes locked for a moment before Harry turned away to hang Draco's cloak on one of the hooks by the door.

"I've been cooking lunch. I hope you still like my pot roast."

"I've missed it actually. Especially on cold days like this one." Draco followed Harry into the dining room and sat down in his old chair. Harry served up the food on two plates and poured two glasses of brandy for the both of them. He waved his hand and levitated the plates and glasses to their appropriate places on the table. Then he sat down across the small table from Draco. They ate in tense silence and didn't say anything other than to ask to pass the salt or pepper across the table. After they had finished lunch, Harry brought the bottle of brandy into the dinning room and sat it between them. He refilled their glasses and sipped on his nervously.

"How have you been Draco?" he asked trying to sound calm.

"I've been all right," Draco replied. "I've been staying in a cottage in the countryside. I decided to hide out for a while."

"And you didn't tell anybody that you were alive." Draco studied his glass. "I'm sorry... I just..."

"No, the only person who knew that I was alive was my godfather, Professor Snape. In my mind I figured that he was the only one who would care about knowing where I was. You certainly didn't care anymore." Harry flinched.

"Ok, I deserved that one. I thought you were dead for two months."

"But... Harry, they never found my body."

"I know. And it made me wonder if you had apparated before the truck hit... but I was never certain."

"I did. I saw the truck, I realized that I didn't have time so I just apparated away to my cabin. I thought it best to just stay away for a while. I was upset and tired and confused about what to do next."

"I thought you were dead." Harry heard his voice cracking with the tears that were stinging his eyes as he stared at the glass in front of him. "I thought you were dead." His voice had dropped to a whisper now and he shut his eyes tightly. He felt warm fingers close around his hand.

"I'm not dead, Harry. I'm right here in front of you."

"You could have... told... anyone... give me some rumor to hang onto. Something." The gentle fingers around his hand tightened and the thumb gently stroked the back of his hand.

"I didn't... I didn't think you would want to know. With the way we left it... I thought you didn't love me anymore and that you wanted me gone. So then I was gone. I thought... I thought it was what you wanted."

"No!" Harry pulled his hand away from Draco's suddenly and stood up from the table quickly. Draco remained the picture of calm. "I lied! All right? I lied to you! I lied because I wanted everyone out of my life! I lied because you were the one last person who could get to me. Who could get inside of me. You were the last one who knew everything there was to know... the one who would know..."

"Who would know what Harry?" Draco felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"The only one... who would know..." Harry's sobs were starting to rack his body and he tried to talk but he felt more tears coming on. He heard Draco get up and felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"What would I know Harry? Please tell me."

"You're the only one... who would know... if I was planning on killing myself. And you would be the only one... who would know... how to stop me." He felt Draco try to pull him closer but he resisted. "No, I have to say all of this, and if you hold me I will just break down and not get through it." He looked up at Draco's face and saw only patience. "I wanted to die. I wanted to be gone. I was cutting out everyone so that they wouldn't care. And I had to cut you out too and make sure that you didn't care about me anymore and then you would go away and have a happy life... but then..."

"The car wreck."

"Yeah, the great flaw to my plan." He shut his eyes as his thoughts streamed out to a person instead of just the walls. "I thought you were dead... and I felt responsible for it. And then I realized... far too late... just how much I love you. And I didn't know... how to fix that mistake. Or that you would want to hear from me... or... that you still loved me at all." He could feel Draco step towards him but Draco didn't pull him closer.

"Look at me, Harry," said Draco softly. He was so close that Harry could feel Draco's breath on his cheek. Harry wouldn't look up. He felt a gentle hand under his chin that lifted his face. "Look at me, Harry," Draco repeated. Harry took in a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Draco's face was one of compassion. Draco gently dried off the tears on Harry's cheeks. "You hurt me badly when you lied to me. I wanted to believe it was a lie, but I just wasn't sure. But I'll let you in on a secret. Someone no one else knows. I spent a lot of time thinking about you and our relationship. I remembered what it used to be like. Even with the way things had become, I still missed you. And that's when I knew that I'm still badly in love with you. I love you, Harry. God help me, I'm in love with you."

"I love you, Draco." Draco was the one who finally leaned in and kissed Harry gently. The kisses became fierce and their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Harry buried his head in Draco's shoulder as he cried. "I love you so much. I loved you when I lied and said I didn't love you. I've loved you for so long I don't... I can't imagine not loving you." When Harry looked up at Draco's face, he saw tears on Draco's cheeks. "Why are you crying?"

"Somewhere deep down I hoped that you were lying. I hoped that you still loved me. Because... I don't know what I would do if you didn't love me." This time Harry was the one who leaned in to kiss the man he loved. He took Draco by the hand and lead him to the couch in the living room by the fire. Harry sat down first. He put one leg on the couch and held open his arms to Draco. The blond smiled, sat down with his legs up on the couch and leaned back into Harry's arms. Harry put one arm around Draco's chest and the other hand gently threaded through Draco's hair.

"So... interesting evening," said Harry casually. Draco smirked at him over his shoulder. The both of them starting laughing and shaking their heads. Draco turned over on his stomach so that his head was lying on Harry's chest.

"Gods, I haven't been here in so long, I almost forgot how it feels," said Draco quietly.

"How what feels?" Harry asked.

"How safe it feels cuddling with you. You've always been one of the few people who can make me feel safe." Harry put his arms around Draco and stared at the fire. He knew things weren't fixed yet. But this was a good start.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... yeah

WARNING: gay sex!

It's a fluffy-ish chapter, so enjoy!

* * *

The next week passed sweetly and quietly. Harry and Draco spent most of their free time together. Draco owned his own potions shop on Diagon Alley so he went back and forth every day. Harry was still a bit of a recluse but was now looking for a job in the muggle world. He ended up getting a job in a book store towards the end of the week.

Things between Harry and Draco were slowly being repaired. For the first week they were just reveling in the company of each other. Their relationship had been something they had cherished and now that they were together again it was like old times. But just as they had feared, the problems they had would come back to bite them.

Draco came home one day and went upstairs to their bedroom. He walked in and found Harry curled up in a ball on the bed under the covers.

"Harry?" said Draco softly. Harry shuddered with the sobs that had been wracking his body for hours. "Harry, what's wrong?" Draco sat down on the bed next to Harry and gently rubbed his back with one hand. When he still didn't get a response from Harry, he toed off his shoes, pulled back the covers, spooned up behind Harry in the bed, and gently wrapped his arms around his lover. "It's ok; it's going to be okay. I'm here. Just tell me what to do."

"Hold me tighter, please?" Draco almost missed the whispered plea that came from Harry, but he held him tighter and cuddled in closer.

"Is there anything else I can do?" Harry suddenly turned over in Draco's arms and brought his face up close to Draco's.

"Kiss me?" he whispered. Draco kissed him passionately and the two lay on the bed making out for a good twenty minutes.

"Feeling any better?" said Draco breathlessly.

"Yeah, I'm feeling better, now that you're here."

"Well, that's what I'm here for." He gently ruffled Harry's hair and kissed him on the forehead. "What happened?"

"A wizard came into the book store. He was bugging me for a solid hour. Asking me why I didn't take a position at the Ministry, at Hogwarts, that I could have any position I wanted anywhere in the magical world. He didn't shut up until I called security and got them to escort him out of the store. It shook me though. Carol, my boss, let me come home early because she could see I was upset. I came home, I put up the guards, and I made it all the way up to here before I finally broke down crying. I've been here... what time is it?"

"A little after seven."

"I got home a little after five. So like, two hours."

"Are you hungry?"

"Very hungry actually."

"I could make us sandwiches. We can have dinner in bed. Would you like that?"

"Yeah, I would like that. But..."

"But what?"

"Could you just hold me a little longer?"

"Of course I can. I'll hold you as long as you want me to." Draco gently tucked Harry's head under his chin and gently ran his fingers up and down Harry's back.

A little while later Draco had made the sandwiches that he had promised Harry and poured two glasses of pumpkin juice. He put it all on the breakfast tray and walked back up the stairs. Harry was sitting up in bed now with the covers pulled up around his chest. Draco put the tray over Harry's legs, pulled the covers back and sat down next to Harry. They ate their sandwiches and drank their pumpkin juice quietly. After they finished the dinner, Draco waved his hand and the tray moved off of Harry's legs and onto the table across the room. Harry settled on Draco's chest and sighed quietly as Draco combed his fingers through his hair.

"Draco?" said Harry quietly.

"Yes, Harry?"

"I never did thank you."

"Thank me for what."

"For coming back." Draco gently put his arms around Harry and held him.

"I guess of the two of us I was the only one who knew that one day I'd have to come back. One can only deny one's own heart for so long before it starts to kill you. Between you and me, there were days that I almost wished that the truck had hit me instead of living without you." Harry snuggled into Draco's shoulder a little more and gently stroked Draco's cheek. "You all right?" Draco asked.

"I just... I love you Draco." Harry kissed Draco gently on the mouth at first but then the kiss deepened and soon Harry let himself be turned onto his back. Being with Draco again was like heaven. Draco tormented Harry with his mouth and hands until he had Harry begging for him.

"Please Draco... Please..." Harry begged. Draco gently lubricated himself, pulled Harry's legs up over his shoulders and gently eased into Harry. Harry moaned and writhed below him. Slowly Draco picked up a rhythm. Both moaned and gasped through it all and when it was over they held each other tightly. Harry gently threaded his fingers through Draco's hair and kissed Draco on the forehead before they both fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... on and on like that

Yeah, this is an uber short chapter, but I feel like this story has run it's course, so this is where it ends. Hope you enjoyed it for all it was worth.

* * *

Harry stretched as he woke the next morning. Draco still lay spooned up beside him. He smiled and kissed Draco gently on the forehead before walking away from the bed. He walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a slight hickey on his neck from one of Draco's love bites. He smiled at the bruise that proved last night was no dream. He ran the water in the sink and gently washed his face with the warm water. When he looked back up into the mirror he saw Draco walking up behind him. The two smiled at each other as Draco walked up behind him and slid his arms up Harry's chest to rest on his shoulders.

"Good morning," said Draco gently. He kissed the bruise that he had left on Harry's neck like it was an apology.

"Good morning," Harry replied as he let his finger interlace with Draco's on his shoulders. The two spent a quiet moment in each other's arms.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Slept like a baby. I always do when you're here." Harry turned and put his arms on Draco's shoulders. "I love you, Draco. I always have and always will love you."

"And I love you, Harry. I always have and always will." The two kissed each other gently before going down the stairs to start their lives together.


End file.
